F minus to OVERBEARING FATHERS!!!

Harry Shum jr. as Mike Chang does an amazing job portraying his feelings of fear from his father and the sadness of potentially not being in the glee club and not getting to follow his dreams!

The fantasy that I had when I watched episode 3 of season 3 of glee called ASIAN F. Mike Chang, best dancer of the glee club, gets an A minus on his chemistry test, which his father calls an Asian F. His father says to him that dancing is something that you do at weddings; it’s not a career or profession. His father tells him that he has to get in to Harvard and to do that he has to get his grades up. If not, then Mike would have to quit glee club. (As expected I was crying the whole time this subject was brought up during the episode)

In the fantasy I play Mike’s teacher, who calls a meeting with Mr. Chang.

Me: Mr. Chang how much do you hate your son?
Mike: Ms. A…
Me: Not now Mike! I’d like to tell you a little story Mr. Chang, a true story, about me. From the time I was a kid I was always a good student. All the teachers liked me, my report card was always spectacular and in those days I had developed this close affinity with my doctor set. As I grew older, my grades kept up and I also had friends. I was good at all subjects but I had this incredibly special bond with English. Reading and writing. God, when I wrote I felt like nothing in the world could ever hurt me or make me feel bad. I felt so excited and happy it was like I would explode like the fire crackers on New Year’s Eve. All that ended when I entered grade 9. My father declared that he wanted me to become a doctor, no questions asked. It was an order and I had to follow it whether the bloody hell I wanted to or not. I had biology as one of my major subjects along with chemistry and physics. From that day on my condition started spiraling downhill. My grades came down and when I saw that I could not concentrate on my studies anymore, my crying fits started. I had never cried before that. Before that whenever there was something that was hard, I just kept at it and it never affected my grades. I also lost all my friends and I started hating everybody and everything.

Slowly and gradually I built this invisible fort around myself. I stopped trusting everyone. And even though I did not want to accept it, I hated my father more and more every single day. I reluctantly entered medical school. I vaguely remember being happy because I thought I could do it. This was a time when I had trusted and had faith in God. But I had no idea what was in store for me. Over the next four years my condition became from bad to worse. Every year I just managed to scrape by in the exams. But I hit the lowest of lows in my fourth year. I tried everything; listening to inspirational music, trying to draw motivation from great people’s life stories, telling myself that it would all be over in another year. But every day I drew deeper and deeper in to this Bermuda triangle of misery and self hatred. I wanted the misery to end. I could not get myself to study. I would open the books, read what was written but none of it would make sense to me. I tried and I tried and I tried. My depression became so bad that I lost faith in everybody and everything. I just wanted to curl up and die.

Everyday I wished for a million things. I wanted to feel alive. I wanted to feel the enjoyment that I saw in my sister’s eyes. I wanted to wake up everyday and not feel like this huge burden on my shoulders. I wanted to look at the mirror and see a confident person smiling back at me. But all I saw on my face was unhappiness, regret, sadness and utter despair at my condition in life.

But you know the one thing that remained constant throughout that time and that I still feel today- this pure and absolute hatred for my father. I even had fantasies about shooting him and then shooting myself, ending it once and for all. (She dissolves in to tears)

As Mike and his father leave the office, I say in between tears: Mike, if you think that I crossed any boundaries then I am sorry. But you should know that I don’t want anyone else to go through what I did. It was a dark and bad and utterly depressing place. I don’t want you going down that road!

Lost and Confused

I never thought this day would come. A day when I would actually be struggling to convince myself that marriage is a bad idea. Because of my past experiences with relationships and my utter hatred for men, I always thought that getting married is the single worst thing that could happen to anyone. That it was the end of all joy. I was always so sure that spending my life without that ‘other half’ was the perfect plan that now that I have been having these controversial feelings I feel like I have been lying to myself for my whole life. I mean if all that I have believed and lived by for most part of my life is meaningless just because the family of a guy I liked are thinking of proposing to me, then what do I live by? What am I and what weak foundations, if any, does my belief system stand upon? I feel utterly confused and totally lost.

I always prided myself in the fact that I was different. Not unnatural different, I still do like guys. But just until they are at a distance and I can fantasize about them and not actually have to spend time with them or be considered their better half, that someone that will complete them and make their lives a blissful place forever. I always prided myself in the fact that my aims and ambitions in life had nothing to do with finding the perfect man and having 2.5 kids and having that cute little family. Those things never charmed me somehow. I was always too busy drooling over how perfect Brett Lee was and how amazing his Yorkers were and how fantastic his celebrations and his smile were. But never, not for once did I ever put any one of my crushes in a fantasy that involved a husband. With all the fantasies that I have had there were only a select few that involved me getting married and most of them ended in divorce anyway.

So I never ever thought in my wildest dreams that when the time came around to me actually getting married that I would be fantasizing about this particular guy and having a life with him. I have been alone for a very long time and I have not loved every part of it, but it has been very comfortable. It’s been comfortable because I knew that no matter what happened I would have to solve it myself. Because my life has always been so screwed and so complicated and my feelings and the situations that I went through so repetitive that I knew that no person would ever be interested in helping me out. So I got myself a whole bunch of other things to keep me company. Books, writing, TV; and I was happy. Never for once did I prefer a life with a husband and in laws over the quiet life that I had built for myself. Yes I was within these fours walls and I was cut off from the rest of the world, but I was content. I was not hurting anyone and more importantly no one was going to hurt me. NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO HURT ME EVER AGAIN. Because I am not going to let anyone get near me. People are the worse. And I learnt that the hard way. I can not get myself to trust someone and that is the defensive mechanism that I live by and which keeps me safe.

But suddenly there are these proposals flying in from everywhere and I feel trapped inside my body. I wanna scream and yell and pound my fists against the wall until they bleed. I DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED. And just when I thought that life possibly could not get any harder, my parents get bloody serious about these things. Decisions have been made for me before and I’ve always ended up bearing the shorter and more brutal end of the stick. It’s the final and toughest year of med school and I would have liked to have all my faculties totally focused on studies. I had this great life planned for myself. I was going to pass med school, then I was going to get this cool job at one of the prestigious schools in the city as a science teacher. And this job would allow me to follow one of my passions and that would be teaching. Plus this job would also allow me to save up money and pay off my dad’s useless investment in me. Along with that I would seriously take up writing and finish off all the stories that have been pending in my mind and laptop. I would have a quiet life but I would be comfortable. My books would get published and I would travel he world and stay with my mom as well once my sisters both got married. I would help the needy and I would teach under privileged kids and I would help people realize their dreams while slowly achieving my own.

BUT ALONG CAME FATE AND THE PREYING MOTHERS OF ALL THE BACHELORS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD. And I saw my dreams getting smashed like Federer’s aces, right out of the park. But strangely I found myself happy that I was being pursued. And as soon I realized what I was feeling I was utterly disgusted with myself. I am not a prize to be won or lost. I am not a showpiece to prance around people to satisfy their pervert needs. I am a human being with feelings and ambitions and dreams and I do not require a man by my side to realize those dreams. Quite on the contrary, I know that with my shy and introverted nature I will, as always, bow down to the whims of my husband and in-laws. And all that obedience will drive me crazy until I get a lifetime membership at a psychiatric institution.

I just want to be me? Why can’t anyone bloody understand that?

But what confuses me above all else is that if I can’t stand strongly by my beliefs that I can make it alone and if I can’t convince even my own sister, then what’s the use of believing in anything???

Thank you, Bones and Dr. Brennan!

The lovely scenes from at the Founding fathers bar, where Brennan proclaims that she has good friends!!!

Who says watching T.V is a waste of time? I learn something amazing from T.V everyday. Well, maybe that is just because I don’t watch crappy shows like reality T.V and soaps. I entertain myself with sports, crime serials and documentaries. There was a time not long ago where I had become this National Geographic junkie, and I loved every moment of it. And these days I am getting amazing entertainment value from crime dramas like Bones and Criminal Minds.

Watching an episode of Bones today made me smile and satisfied me at the same time. Because of the recent, first time, panic attack that I had, and realizing that I am an extreme case of agoraphobia, my mood was really foul and it was again pulling me in to the depths of despair. But I watched Bones and all was fine.

I had a really bad falling out with an old school friend. It was bound to happen. But I am happy that I mustered the courage to tell her what an awful person she had been because I had counted on her in my time of need and she had not responded correctly. I mean I was really suicidal after my panic attack and after realizing the reasons for the attack, but she could not have cared less. I was really expecting a phone call from her, because that is what I would have done, but all I got were a couple of mildly reassuring text messages. But, surprisingly, I was at peace with myself regarding my past relationships. Maybe the reason that people did not value my friendship was because of the agoraphobia all along. And another thing that I keep telling myself is that maybe it’s just not the right people. And Dr. Temperance ‘bones’ Brennan just seconded my thoughts. And because she is the hyper-rational person she is, her words and the conclusions that she drew were all the more credible and understandable.

In this episode titled ‘The death of the queen bee’ from season 5 of bones, Brennan goes to her high school reunion. Throughout the episode it is shown that she was considered the weirdo, with everyone calling her ‘Morticia’, just because she did not have the appropriate social skills and liked to dissect animals in the name of science. At the end of the episode, when all the crew of the Jeffersonian, Booth and Sweets are sitting at the Founding fathers bar, Brennan proclaims that the trip back to her school was very ‘educational’ for her, because it made her realize that what she had now was absolutely invaluable. She smiled and claimed ‘this is what friendship is’!

And so after watching this interesting episode, I came to the conclusion that just like every nice thing that I believe will happen to me in the future, maybe good and trusting friends are somewhere along the horizon as well. Brennan had to wait so many years to meet the right people, but when she did it was all the more special, because she knew how important they were. Brennan waited patiently and was rewarded, and so will I. I read somewhere that ‘if you don’t get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God has something better to give you!’
Michael Buble sang and I quote,

‘I JUST HAVEN’T MET YOU YET!’

‘No one can take anything away from you…unless you give it to them!’

Now, I AM A BELIEVER!

A fantastic and inspiring movie that changed my outlook on life

Don Haskins: ‘What do you wanna do? You wanna quit?’
Kager: ‘They wanna take our dignity away from us.’
Don Haskins: ‘Your dignity is inside you. Nobody takes something away from you you don’t give them! Hey, hold your heads up. Hold your heads up. You wanna shake off that hate? It’s your choice Harry Flournoy; it’s your choice Jerry Armstrong. Kager, Hill, it’s your choice. Shut them up. Win!’

These words have had an amazing impact on my mind. This short conversation from an old basketball gym after a deliberately lost game has breathed new soul and purpose in to my life. These few simple words uttered by a basketball coach have snapped me out of my reverie; they have stirred a storm inside of me; a storm that wants to revamp my whole outlook on life; a storm that wants to shake me up and impress upon me the importance of believing in myself and my abilities and to not let the innumerable adversities take control of me. (Of course Josh Lucas as Don Haskins is incredibly motivating and utterly convincing)

I want to prove to the world that I can be good at more than one thing at a time. The world wants me to become a doctor first- fine by me. But that does not mean that I am going to let go of the things that make me happy; I am not going to let go of what defines me first and foremost and that is writing.

‘You wanna shake off that hate?’

Heck of course I want to! I read somewhere that holding grudges is like letting someone live rent free inside your head. I have too much valuable material inside this incredibly important head of mine and I’m not going to let petty things, big or small, eat up on that all important space.

‘Hold your heads up!’

I may have been forced to study medicine but now that I have made it through four years in a place that I despise from the deepest cores of my heart, I know that I need the same determination and commitment to get me through the next year and a half. I need to hold my head up. I have worked exceptionally hard to keep myself together (there were the odd moments where I completely lost it) and get through these four years with my sanity intact. I may have gone down the long and winding road of depression once in a while, but not anymore. My ideas and my thoughts are too valuable to be encompassed by hatred and be overcome by overwhelming grief. There may be many people gnawing at me, trying to take my identity away from me and trying to turn me in to a marionette, with them pulling all the major and minor strings in my life, but I will not let that get to me. I have big plans for my life. And I am not going to let them slip away.

‘It’s your choice!’

I am not weak. I am not going to let my bad circumstances rule over me. I am not going to sit back and wallow in my miseries. I am no longer going to cry about how unfair life is. It’s like Snape said, ‘Life isn’t fair!’ I’m not the first person whom life has dealt with an unfair card. And I’m sure as hell not going to be one of those people to let my bad circumstances get the better of me.

It won’t be easy. But like the great people have said, you have to work to be great. Greatness is not achieved overnight. It takes hard work, commitment, dedication and a never ending supply of courage and the awesome voice of Josh Lucas playing Don Haskins saying ‘No one can take anything away from you you don’t give them!!!’

Australia v NewZealand, First test, 2011.

Usman Khawaja and David Warner hugging after the winning runs were hit-the blues openers rejoicing for a victory at the international level!

This is why I love cricket, correction Australian cricket; new bunch of guys, new coach, new selectors, relatively new captain, nothing to lose and all to prove. I loved every moment of this first test against New Zealand that heralded the start of this Australian cricket summer, and more appropriately the start of a new era in Australian cricket; every moment except the part where the odd catches were dropped and my favourite player in the side, my new ‘player to follow’, Usman Khawaja, got run out when he was looking really good on the pitch. It’s a good thing Shaun Marsh’s injury has pushed his recovery period a little longer so Usman has more time to prove his worth and establish his place in the side.

THE POSITIVES:

• The new pace attack: The team faced a major injury crisis especially to the bowling department at the start of the home series. And the selectors instead of going back to the tried and tested lot, entrusted the bowling responsibilities to young blood. It is always good when there is such competition amongst players to get in to the side and you know that one bad performance can have you kissing your chances of playing another match goodbye. And that is the lovely dilemma that the Australian selectors are going to have once all the injured players are back and vying for a place in the side. Mitchell Starc, who’s being piped as the permanent replacement to the ‘once in a generation bowler’ Mitchell Johnson, impressed me immensely in the first innings. The heart and zeal with which he bowled those amazing bouncers to Brendon McCullum were an amazing treat. Mitchell Johnson better watch out for this youngster. Peter Siddle, with only 26 tests behind him, was the unlikely leader of the bowling pack. He did not let it go to his head and did not impose himself on anyone. He went about his business and bowled very accurately and with discipline and speed. (Also I saw him joking around with umpire Asad Rauf and Usman Khawaja, getting that adorable smile to Khawaja face, and that is when he cemented his place in my heart as one of the ‘nice’ boys in the Australian side! Last but not the least, James Pattinson got five quick wickets to totally dismantle the opposing side and prove his worth on the big stage.

• The opening pair: a lot was expected from hard hitting batsman David Warner, but unfortunately he did not deliver. He did though hit the winning runs for his side, which is always a great thing to look back upon, but since it’s well known what he is capable of, the selectors should give him another try. And because Phil Hughes can not shake that annoying habit of having a go at that out swinger and get out by getting caught in the slips, maybe he can get the sack once Shane Watson is fit. And what would be really awesome is if that results in an opening pair of Watson and Warner- WOW that would be an intimidating spectacle for any opposing side. I’m getting goose bumps just thinking about it.

• The middle order: the selectors are looking for a side for the future and having that in mind I think they did a wonderful job of sending in Khawaja in at 3, which has been Ponting’s position since as long as I can remember. This young lad has been lauded for having the most proper stroke play in the domestic circuit. And that certainly showed in his game at the Gabba. He was patient and very watchful of the ball. He let a lot of balls go and still managed to keep an impressive strike rate of 88. He was quick and agile between the wickets but unfortunately one bad judgment call from the ex-captain had him out for a mere 38. The disappointment was etched on his face as he walked back to the dressing room and it broke my heart t see that. He did not get another chance to show his skills as Australia were chasing a mere 19 runs for victory. But being the happy go lucky bloke that he is, he enveloped his Blues opening partner Warner as the latter hit the winning runs.

• The captain’s knock: Michael ‘pup’ Clarke was amazing with the bat. Maybe it was the bad memory of the dropped catch that played in his mind, but nonetheless the skipper was there for his team and delivered with poise and class. Along with Brad Haddin (who had a lot to prove for himself and scored 50), they took Australia to a nice lead. Pup batted nicely with the tail enders, Starc acting more like Johnson and scoring a very handy 38, to get a lead and push for victory.

All in all, it was an entertaining match, if you are an Australian supporter. I feel a little bad for Vettori on missing out on his century and for Ross Taylor, as he himself is new to this job of captain. But for all the new blokes around Team Australia, the future is looking bright!

A TRAGEDY OF COLOSSAL PROPORTIONS

Like a fish out of water, I find myself lost and confused and I know I'm not alone; and that saddens me even more!

Being personally inherently disgruntled and extremely dissatisfied with my situation in life right now, I am all the more frustrated at the sight of people wasting their lives away because of wrong career choices. And this frustration irks and annoys me all the more because these so called choices are, most of the times, made by parents and the poor children end up bearing the awful brunt of horribly unsound choices.

I was recently talking to a class mate who is also unfortunately facing the same situation that I do, and so while relating my side of the story I concluded that parents have a very irritating knack of wanting to live their own unfulfilled dreams through their children. My class mate found this notion to be on the humorous side and said and I quote, ‘Poor parents! They never know when to stop interfering in our lives and just let us fly!’ My mind, though failing to see the funny side of things in this very depressing scenario, could not disagree with her on the fact that parents have an extremely hard time letting go. Why do they have to channel their deepest desires through their kids? What happened to letting the kids be the best people they can be, follow their wishes to their heart’s content and just being plain supportive? Is that so hard for parents???

I look around me and I see people dragging themselves to class every morning, probably because they have been emotionally blackmailed or by the thought of the enormous amount of money that is being spent on an education that they despise from the cores of their heart. My favourite one, which was revealed quite candidly by another class fellow, is when parents say, ‘Oh! Your grandfather wished you would become…!’ I mean no offence to the grandparents but seriously? In order to live up to all those expectations people end up becoming disgruntled maniacs, never satisfied with their lives, cursing their luck and hating the person who made the coveted ‘wish’ in the first place. Lives are destroyed completely just because parents and grandparents ‘expect’ their off spring to be obedient, compliant of their wishes and completely submissive. And what happens if you say no? What happens if you say, ‘No dad! I want to follow my own dreams!’ It’s an innocent enough statement, but it instantly turns you in to the rebel, someone without manners or the commonly-expected-dutiful behaviour. You automatically become the black sheep of the family.

In today’s wide world where there are innumerable new and interesting fields and careers to choose from, where there is a field to everyone’s liking, we see kids being pushed in to the age old, tried and tested professions of medicine and engineering, with parents being absolutely ignorant, either genuinely or deliberately, to the vast world of opportunities just waiting to be grabbed. It pains me immensely to wonder what could have been, to contemplate endlessly about a life where we would be our own masters. No one to listen to but your own heart; no one’s wishes to fulfill but your own; to not worry constantly about letting other people down even though you are sacrificing so much yourself.
The great american writer Mark Twain did a lot of career hopping because he found himself dissatisfied with each of his choices. He started off as an apprentice with a printer. He also worked as a typesetter and contributed articles to his older brother Orion’s newspaper. After toiling as a printer in various cities, he became a master riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River, before heading west to join Orion. He was a failure at gold mining, so he next turned to journalism. While a reporter, he wrote a humorous story, The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, which became very popular and brought nationwide attention. His travelogues were also well-received. Twain had found his calling. And that is why William Faulkner called him ‘the father of American Literature’.

My heart bleeds for myself and for all those people who are just ‘stuck’ in the wrong place, doing the ‘wrong’ thing, just looking to survive everyday rather than living it fully. Life’s too short and unpredictable to be spent doing meaningless and uninteresting stuff that gives you no sense of joy or fulfillment at all. We criticize the western culture for a lot of things, some correctly and some absolutely baseless. But what we can not deny is that one of the major reasons for their being successful is that a majority of people there (exceptions are everywhere), are doing what they themselves wanted. And also because they truly know what dignity of labour means. They would not look down upon someone who’s a janitor or a waitress. While here in the east, you do not stand anywhere unless you have attended private educational institutions and your family has money. Here in the east the words ‘compromise’ and ‘sacrifice’ define a way of life rather than things that are encountered once in a while.

They take away our dreams and expect us to bow down before them like animals with no brains, like a people with no intellect and no sense of right or wrong. They rob us of the amazing adventures of learning from our experiences. We adolescents are a timid people, and by the time we realize that our voices should be heard, that our lives are incomplete, we’ve entered middle age and become parents ourselves. We then follow the only option that is available to us – imposing our dreams on our children; and thus the vicious cycle continues. Or the dreams are forgotten and the fiery ambitions diffused in pursuit of things that leave life hollow and completely meaningless. And that is a tragedy of colossal proportions.

Something Magical!

“Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.” – J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

While reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for probably the seventh time, I realized something. It occurred to me that one of the reasons that I kept reading and re-reading the book was not just because of the thrilling plot but because of the deep meaning behind Harry’s journey. Throughout the seven part book series there is a recurring theme – LOVE. It is mentioned in the most subtle yet beautiful of ways. Whether its love between friends, siblings, colleagues, parents and children, husband and wife, teachers and students, master and servant, owner and pet… love has many forms, each beautiful and significant in its own way. The emotions splashed across the many pages of the books are palpable; J.K. Rowling take a bow, you are an absolute genius. The last book is a true work of art, truly magnificent, touching and in a league of its own. The many moments from when Harry loses Dobby to when Harry is walking towards Voldemort through the forest are just so beautifully and intricately detailed, it all just takes my breath away.

But today I realized that true love is really something magical. That is what Harry’s whole saga is all about; Love triumphing above all odds. From the moment Lily Potter saves Harry to the moment when Harry decides to sacrifice himself to save the wizarding world – its all about true love. And those who have the courage to love selflessly and the ability and characteristics to be loved are the luckiest people in this difficult world.

“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.” – Antoine De Saint-Exupery

I look at my grandparents and I see the deep connection that they share. They might not be perfect for each other, but along their journey together they have made sacrifices, shared joys and sorrows with one another, lived through the many ups and downs of life; that is what I call true love. That is something that should be revered like something truly sacred. When my grandma was in the hospital recovering from By-pass surgery, I remember going to visit her with my grandpa one day. He told me to wait so that he could buy flowers. But when he returned there was no bouquet in his hands and I could clearly see the disappointment etched upon his face. Throughout the entire time my nani was in hospital, not once was the vase on her bedside devoid of flowers.

The chemistry between Harry, Ron and Hermione may seem like fantasy, but Dumbledore’s words always had a greater meaning. As Voldemort correctly pointed out Dumbledore’s favourite solution was love – only because love in its purest form is very powerful. If only people in today’s world can realize that. If only they can love and be loved just for being good people and not worry about scoring points or making money. Allah loves his people and He is always ready to forgive. This world could become a much better place if people could learn to forgive and love others more than themselves!

“Where Mercy, Love, and Pity dwell, There God is dwelling too.” – William Blake

The Harry Potter experience

All Potter fans will hold you to that Ms. Rowling-Thankyou so very much for creating such a fantastic world for us to dwell on and cherish forever!

For being a constant source of inspiration and a fountain of joy and wonder!

‘It’s a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.’ ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

As the final credits of the last installment rolled on, I felt this heavy weight settle in my heart. It was a feeling of utmost grief and utter sadness that I could only compare to the feelings of grief that I had during the last days of my school life. I could not get myself to admit it. But when I finally got the words to my mouth, I still did not want to believe them. ‘Harry Potter has come to an end’. For many months I had stalled saying these words as if they were an exceptionally bad omen. I was somehow trying to prolong the agony and pain I know would settle in once I made myself realize that there would be no more amazing Harry Potter books or movies to look forward to. I was bidding time to say goodbye to the most beautiful experiences of my adolescent years.

‘Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.’ ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

I can still remember the day when I shut close book seven when Voldermort killed Harry. It was like Ms. Rowling had cheated on me personally by killing Harry. I was so sure that good would conquer over evil that at that moment I hated Ms. Rowling from all my heart. Somehow I got around to picking up the book again and finishing it was like taking the last bites of the most scrumptious chocolate brownie ever made. So many years of being the devoted Harry Potter fan and this remarkable phenomenon had come to an end. But I still had the fascinating movies to look forward to. Although I had always believed that the movies did not come close to comparing to the mesmerizing and completely incredible books, they were still part of the Harry Potter phenomenon and so I was still able to hang onto some part of that crazy fanatic in me.

Watching the final chapter in this globally captivating phenomenon, I kept pointing out all the mistakes and irregularities and differences from the book, not once breaching the reality that with the final scenes of the movie, Harry Potter was finally going to come to an end. I kept on prolonging the moment when I would have to shake myself and let the sad, sad truth set in. ‘Harry Potter has come to an end’.

As I reminisce to the beginning of this marvelous franchise, I find myself smiling. The sheer giddiness that gripped me and my classmates on knowing that the Harry Potter cast was ‘our age’ to the disappointment that the cinemas in our country would not screen this wonderful movie to many months on and repeating the brilliant dialogues on the movies’ re-runs on television and of course personal CDs. Just like the actors, we, the Harry Potter lovers and fanatics have grown up with the books and movies. We have learnt a lot from Harry Potter. We have felt sorry for this lonely orphan boy, hated the blonde haired rich guy for his evil ways, been jealous of the know-it-all bushy haired girl, gotten life lessons from the old and wise headmaster, been thoroughly amused by the red head twins, said ‘awww’ at the shows of affection between best friends, tried to open locked doors with ‘alohomora’, been enchanted by the great big castle and its many secrets…the list is unending. Harry Potter was so much more to us than just books and movies; it was the utmost rite of passage for our generation. And I feel sorry for all those who were bloody dim witted enough to miss out on an exhilarating ride, deeming all things Harry Potter childish.

For me, the extraordinary world of Harry Potter stands for all that is good in this life; a symbol of love, friendship and hope. It stands for the belief that good will always triumph over evil; for the sound confidence that a good friendship will always stand the test of time; for the faith we put in our loved ones to always have our backs; for the quiet knowledge that there are as many good people in the world as there are bad; for the belief that good bequests good and bad bequests bad; for the fact that everyone is unique and everyone is a hero; for the fact that ‘It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities’.

Harry Potter has come to an end. All is not well.

Life Lessons from The Blind Side!!!

Starting friendships in the most unknown circumstances with the most unlikely people

Gratitude for the small things that we take for granted!

For a change, doing the right and the hard thing, irrespective of what the world might say!

As soon as the movie starts and you hear Sandra Bullock’s southern accent explaining the American football in the simplest terms possible, you know that this movie is something special. The starting of the movie and the introduction to Michael Oher’s life is something that had me crying up to the point where Michael goes out shopping with Leanne. Throughout the movie though I had to keep reminding myself that this was not some fairy-tailed Hollywood version of a story; this was real. This story was real, these people were real and whatever happened actually happened. This was hard core non-fiction and the best and the worse attributes of human nature brought out wonderfully by the actors.

The small yet highly significant life lessons given in the movie hit you hard. For me, every single scene was exceptionally moving and made me realize above all how many things we take for granted and how easily we forget how incredibly lucky and blessed we are to have things like food, shelter and a loving and caring family. Leanne Tuohy is an incredible woman who saved a life from being ruined by poverty and negligence. She is a true hero who opened not only her home but also her heart to this misunderstood boy who was just lost.

What I find amazing is how nicely all the members of the Tuohy family accepted Michael in to their lives. They accepted the differences but never made Michael feel like an outsider. I find it incredible that even after having a black president, people in America can be so prejudiced and racists. What the Tuohy family did was fascinating and heartwarming.

There were many scenes that just gutted me. For starters, the time when Michael goes in to the school carrying a polythene bag made me want to beg for forgiveness so badly. I have a perfectly fine bag but I’ve been saving up money and wanting to buy a nice, branded bag that made a statement. Well, carrying a polythene bag certainly makes a statement. Then secondly that part where Michael is heading towards the gym because ‘it’s warm’ had me hiccupping. Then there was that part where Michael wanted a driver’s license just because he wanted to have his identity on something solid. But the part that really struck me was so simple yet spoke volumes of Michael’s character was when he tells Leanne that whenever something bad was happening, all he did was close his eyes. It’s so simple it’s really unbelievable.

The Blind Side carries a lot of tough life lessons, none easy to adapt to. But it tells me that in this cruel and bad world, where all Hollywood cares about is making big budget flicks about the world ending, there still is some hope. There still are people who do good and have pure hearts. People, who might not look big on the outside, but have really big hearts and have the infinite capacity to love and affect change.

Dear God…

I believe that God has big plans for me too, and I trust Him!!!

Dear God,

What am I doing here? Everyday I look at the sky I ask you the same question, over and over again, but you never seem to hear the urgency and pleading in my voice? I know you are busy and there are a lot of things that you have to do but it’s a very plain question; one that would not take you much effort to answer. But you still do not answer me. But I think you know that if you answer this one simple question, then I will ask you many more. I will want to seek much more than I deserve to know. But I know that you are a very good listener, and that there is none like you. So I want to talk and you can just listen. And even after all this you don’t answer, I will know that there are many more important things that you have to take care of. But please don’t turn away your ears God. Because nobody wants to listen to me whine anymore. And to be honest, I know that my tidings are getting very monotonous and no one wants to listen to the droning of a sad and severely depressed 21 year old. But please don’t turn away from me right now God. I don’t have much going for me right now and I will not be able to move on if you turned away from me as well.

You know better than anyone else how much I have tried to fit in to the life that was chosen for me. You have seen me go through everything and you have been very good to me too. But I just can’t take it anymore God. Every second feels like pure torture and I know that much of it is my own fault. Because I keep fighting my destiny; because I keep trying to do things my way and in the end I always fail? Why can’t my father see what I’m going through? Why can’t you lift the heavy veil from his eyes that is preventing him from seeing how much agony and pain I go through just to get by everyday? Why can’t he realize what his wishes are doing to me? I look younger than my 12 year old sister and it’s getting worse everyday.

And you know what the most frustrating thing is? That everybody is as scared of my father as I am. There are two other people who know how I really feel about my life right now, my mother and my uncle. And the best advice they can give me is to get by the next one and half year. How can they say that when I can’t even see myself get through the next month? They all seem to love me but they don’t want what’s best for me. How can I believe that they really love me?

I want to feel happy. I want to enjoy my life. I want to laugh and be somebody that everyone enjoys to have around. I want to make every second of my life count because it’s precious – just how you made it God.

I know that You don’t burden anyone with anymore than they can handle, so I’m going to trust You. I’m going to trust You because that is all that I am capable of right now. And I know that if my faith is strong enough, then You will help me get through these difficult times and that I will emerge victorious.

Thank you so much for listening to me God.